There's An Army Story In Me, And

My Job Is To Go Out And Entertain The Most People Possible.

You Often Hear That People Go Into Show Business To Find The Love They Never Had When They Were Children. Never Believe It! Every Comic And Most Of The Actors I Know Had A Childhood Full Of Love. Then They Grew Up And Found Out That In The Grown-up World, You Don't Get All That Love, You Just Get Your Share. So They Went Into Show Business To Recapture The Love They Had Known As Children When They Were The Center Of The Universe.

Never Retire! Do What You Do And Keep Doing It. But Don't Do It On Friday. Take Friday Off. Friday, Saturday, And Sunday, Go Fishing...then Monday To Thursday, Do What You've Been Doing All Your Life. My Point Is: Live Full And Don't Retreat.

There's No Such Thing As Too Far. If It Works It's Funny, If It Doesn't Work It's Too Far, It's Stupid. Really There's No Such Thing As "too Far." You're Joining The Politically Correct When You Use Words Like "too Far." You Don't Want To Join The Army Of Politically Correct.

I've Always Loved Songwriting, And I Vowed To Be A Songwriter Like Cole Porter When I Was Only 9 Years Old.