Why Are There No "during" Pictures?

I Made $3,000 Opening For The Neville Brothers, And They Paid Me In Cash. That Was A Bad Situation, Because I Bought Ridiculous Stuff. I Bought A Snake Bite Emergency Kit. Then I Said To My Friends, "don't Even Worry About Snakes Anymore". My Friend Stepped On A Worm, And I Said, "lay Down!"

I Don't Have A Microwave Oven, But I Do Have A Clock That Occasionally Cooks Stuff.

I’d Like To See A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. It’d Be So Damn Literal! You Are Using That Machine To It’s Exact Purpose!

I Think Pickles Are Cucumbers That Sold Out. They Sold Their Soul To The Devil, And The Devil Is Dill.

This Product That Was On Tv Was Available For Four Easy Payments Of $19.95. I Would Like A Product That Was Available For Three Easy Payments And One Complicated Payment. We Can't Tell You Which Payment It Is, But One Of These Payments Is Going To Be Hard. The Mailman Will Get Shot, The Envelope Will Not Seal, The Stamp Will Be In The Wrong Denomination. The Final Payment Must Be Made In Wampum.