Who In Their Infinite Wisdom Decreed That

When You Leave Them In The Morning, They Stick Their Nose In The Door Crack And Stand There Like A Portrait Until You Turn The Key Eight Hours Later.

It's [motherhood] The Biggest On-the-job- Training Program In Existence Today.

The Family. We Are A Strange Little Band Of Characters Trudging Through Life Sharing Diseases And Toothpaste, Coveting One Another's Desserts, Hiding Shampoo, Borrowing Money, Locking Each Other Out Of Our Rooms. . . And Trying To Figure Out The Common Thread That Bound Us All Together.

Youngsters Of The Age Of Two And Three Are Endowed With Extraordinary Strength. They Can Lift A Dog Twice Their Own Weight And Dump Him Into The Bathtub.

You Show Me A Boy Who Brings A Snake Home To His Mother And I'll Show You An Orphan.