Whether It's A Potato Or A Nut,

Every Problem Solved Is A Problem Made.

Everyone Is Living For Everyone Else Now. They're Doing Stuff So They Can Tell Other People About It. I Don't Get All That Social Media Stuff, I've Always Got Other Things I Want To Do - Odd Jobs Around The House. No One Wants To Hear About That.

At Some Point, Some Insect Has Had Sex With A Leaf.

There Was Some Women In A Café The Other Week That I Was Sat In, And She Came Up And She Sat Down With Her Mate And She Was Talkin' Loudly Goin' On About "oh The Baby's Lovely." They Said It's Got, Er, Lovely Big Eyes, Er, Really Big Hands And Feet. Now That Doesn't Sound Like A Nice Baby To Me. I Felt Like Sayin' It Sounds Like A Frog. But I Thought I Don't Know Her, There's Only So Much You Can Say To A Stranger. I Don't Know What Kept Me From Sayin' It.

If You’re Worrying About The Wrinkles On Your Bollocks I’d Say Your Life’s Pretty Good