Whenever I Try To Spell 'banana,' I

Man Is The Most Powerful Creature On The Planet. And We're Arrogant. I Mean, People Own Birds. It's Like, There's A Creature With The Gift Of Flight. I Want It. I'm Going To Put It In My Kitchen And Make It Crap On Old Information.

Dogs Seem More Photogenic Than Cats. In Photos Most Cats Look Like Sociopaths.

I Remember When I Used To Be Really Into Nostalgia.

I Think They Should Put Pies On The Fronts Of Trains, So That When They Hit Something It's At Least A Little Bit Funny.

Bowling Would Be More Interesting If It Were Slightly Uphill.