I Remember When I Used To Be

To Make A Squirrel Look Less Uptight, Put Tiny Sunglasses On It.

Fire Truck With Back End On Fire Drives Really Fast In Circles.

To Some I Am Known As Chief. And These Are Usually People Who Work In Radio Shack Or Try To Sell Me Shoes. To Others I Am Known As Buddy. These Are People Who Dwell In Bars And Wonder If I’ve Got A Problem Or What It Is That I Am “looking At.” And To Still Others, Who Are In That Same Bar, Standing Just Off To The Side, I Am “get Him!"

The Sofa Is The Enemy Of Productivity.

I Was Eating Some Candy And Looked On The Wrapper, And It Said Made From Natural And Artificial Flavors. You Could Just Say Flavors.