When Your Mother Starts Using The Word

I Like Money. It's Fun To Fold And Stack And Smell And Look At. It's Just Plain Fun To Count Money, And I Often Do It In A Loud Falsetto While Wearing Nothing But A Captain's Hat And A Coin Changer.

Then People Ask Me If I'm Worried About The Effects Of Global Warming On My Kids. Well, Obviously I Love My Kids And I Want Them To Live To Be A 100. So That's Another 1.8. My Kids' Kids? Three Point Six. I'll Just Tell Them We Moved To Phoenix.

Of *course* He Needs To Renegotiate His Salary - The Guy Buys More Snow Than Seward Did When He Bought Alaska From The Russians.

Nothing Ruins The Mood During Foreplay More Than The Recurring Image Of Your Sixty-five-year-old Homeroom Teacher Trying To Stretch A Condom Over A Cucumber.

Bill Gates Is Just A Monocle And A Persian Cat Away From Being One Of The Bad Guys In A James Bond Movie.