Jack Kerouac Was Cool Because He Had

America May Be The Best Country In The World, But That's Kind Of Like Being The Valedictorian Of Summer School.

I'll Say This About The War Protesters: At Least Most Of Them Are Only Putting Duct Tape Across Their Mouths So I Can Still Tell The Rest Of Them To Blow It Out Their Ass.

I Don't Know What I Think Of George W. Bush When He First Got In, But I've Grown Fond Of The Man, And Maybe It's The Times We Live In. They Say He's Not An Environmentalist. But Every Time I See His Ranch On Tv, It Looks Pretty Nice. You Know Something, If We All Took Care Of Our Own, We'd Have A Great Environment.

I Had Fun Pretending To Be A Sportscaster. People Always Think That Was A Down Thing For Me. I Had The Best Job In Sports Broadcasting For Two Years.

Any Time Your Parent Says They Party With You, That Is Its Own Form Of Child Abuse.