The Easiest Job In The World Has

President Bush Gave His First-ever Presidential Radio Address In Both English And Spanish. Reaction Was Mixed, However, As People Were Trying To Figure Out Which One Was Which.

I'm Left On A Lot Of Things. If Two Gay Guys Want To Get Married, I Could Care Less. If A Nut Case From Overseas Wants To Blow Up Their Wedding, That's When I'm Right.

Jerry Falwell Says That Abortion And Homosexuality Are Sins. Oh Yeah? Well, So Is Gluttony, Jerry. So Maybe You Should Think About Dropping 50 Pounds.

Look, We're Americans: Optimistic, Addicted To The Quick Fix, Constantly On The Hunt For The New And Exotic. It's Much Easier For Us To Accept A Guy With A Big White Beard Hawking His Own Custom Blend Of Saw Palmetto And Squirrel Dandruff That It Is To Hear A Real Doctor Telling Us To Lay Off The Big Macs, And Get Off Our Fat Asses And Take A Walk Every Decade Or So.

Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol Called. You're At 14:55 And We're Tickin' Big-time Here, Chachi.