When You Swear To God, Its True

Let's Talk A Little About Love. Sometimes You Meet Somebody And You Have What Is Known As A Relationship And Things Can Go Great. If Things Go Great You Have A Great Relationship. Sometimes It Doesn't Go So Great And I Call That A Relationshit!

Text A Guy You Like Right Now, "i'm Thinking About You." If He Says, "mmm Are You In Bed?" Never Speak To Him Again He's A Lifelong Moron.

A Lot Of Comics Are Kind Of Vampire Types; We Do Our Shows And Disappear Into The Night. My Philosophy Was, This Is Like Politics, And If I Want People To Know About My Campaign, I'm Going To Go Out There And Shake Hands.

It's The Worst Feeling When You Come Home Alone Late At Night And Think The Stranger Sitting On Your Couch Is A Pile Of Clothes.

I Was Not A Silly Kid Or Outgoing. In Fact, I Suffered From Quite A Bit Of Anxiety. I Used To Have Panic Attacks When I Was A Teenager, Really Incapacitating Moments, Because I Had Some Phobias.