When You Go To The Mind Reader,

There Just Isn't Enough Televised Chess

There Was An Embarrassing Moment In The White House Earlier Today. They Were Looking Around While Searching For George Bush's Military Records. They Actually Found Some Old Al Gore Ballots.

Traffic Signals In New York Are Just Rough Guidelines.

The Russian Economy Is Tanking. It's Gotten So Bad That Today Vladimir Putin Had To Pawn His Stolen Super Bowl Ring. And Putin Will Finance His Next Invasion On Kickstarter.

Compared To Clinton, I Feel Like A Loser. I Can't Even Get The Intern To Make Me Coffee!