When You Go To The Mind Reader,

Here In New York City, It's Cold. It's So Cold The Republicans Want To Use The Keystone Pipeline To Deliver Soup.

Iraq's Elite Republican Guard Is Doing So Badly They're Changing Their Name To The Democratic Guard.

President Bush Insisted That There Was Nothing In The August 6th, 2001 Briefing, Which Was Titled 'bin Laden Determined To Attack The United States', That Hinted What Bin Laden Was Up To. Bush Says That He Would Have Moved Mountains To Stop The Attack. Yeah, But He Draws The Line At Reading A Memo.

Since 1980, There Have Been 91 Breaches Of Security At The White House. Well, 92 If You Count George Bush.

George Clooney Is On The Program Tonight. Next Week At This Time I Will Be In A Hardware Store Watching Them Mix Paint.