When The Hell Is Warren Moon Going

Nervous? He's Tighter Than Pat Buchanan's Sphincter Muscle At A 4th Of July Soiree On Fire Island.

Ray Lewis Knifed Through Those Offensive Linemen Like A Sucker-punch Switchblade Slicing Between The Ribs Of Some Inebriated Trash-talking Punk Outside A Sports Bar.

In View Of All The Deadly Computer Viruses That Have Been Spreading Lately, Weekend Update Would Like To Remind You: When You Link Up To Another Computer, You're Linking Up To Every Computer That That Computer Has Ever Linked Up To.

We've Got Nancy Pelosi. She Never Shuts Up. It's Just Occasionally We Have To Hood Her Like A Falcon So We Can Get Some Sleep.

Ouch! And Marino Goes Down Quicker Than His Boonesfarm-infused Sister In The Back Of My '68 Cutlass On Our First Date After Watching 'love Story' At The Drive-in.