Scotch Needs Water Like A Fish Needs

I Don't Object To Nine Aces In One Deck. But When A Man Lays Down Five Aces In One Hand... And Besides, I Know What I Dealt Him!

Never Eat At A Place Called 'moms', But If The Only Other Place In Town Has A Sign That Says 'eats', Go Back To Moms.

I'd Rather Have Two Girls At 21 Each Than One Girl At 42.

Abstaining Is Favorable Both To The Head And The Pocket.

When You Wake Up In The Morning, Smile - And Get It Over With.