When Life Gives You Lemons... Choke On

Dilbert: It Took Weeks But I've Calculated A New Theory About The Origin Of The Universe. According To My Calculations It Didn't Start With A "big Bang" At All-it Was More Of "phhbwt" Sound. You May Be Wondering About The Practical Applications Of The "little Phhbwt" Theory. Dogbert: I Was Wondering When You'll Go Away.

The Day You Realize That Your Efforts And Rewards Are Not Related, It Really Frees Up Your Calendar.

The People Who Think A Guy Walked On Water Versus The People Who Think A Horse Can Fly.

I Think The Pleasure Of Completed Work Is What Makes Blogging So Popular. You Have To Believe Most Bloggers Have Few If Any Actual Readers. The Writers Are In It For Other Reasons. Blogging Is Like Work, But Without Coworkers Thwarting You At Every Turn. All You Get Is The Pleasure Of A Completed Task.

Boss: I Just Heard That Light Travels Faster Than Sound. I'm Wondering If I Should Shout When I Speak, Just So My Lips Appear To Sync-up With My Words.