When I'm Wrong I'm Like The Emperor

You Have To Realize, When You're A Comedian, That You Have To Have A Thick Skin. And Trust Me, Being Onstage In Front Of People Is Already Difficult Enough. Somebody's Personal Attack In An Email Is Not As Hard As Getting Onstage.

Even When I Go To A Salad Bar, I Need To Feel Like I'm One Of The First People There.

Start Each Day Out The Holy Way..with Christ Chex, It's A Miracle In A Bowl. Just Open The Box And You Hear Ahhhhh....and Then A Lil' Angel Flies Out And Says 'good Morning, Life Is Beautiful!'.

I Do Try To Keep My Show Very Improvisational. I Don't Work Off A Set List; I Like To Keep It More In The Moment. I Like To Have Information About Where I'm Going, What Might Be Happening In That Particular Region As Well. I Like For People To Feel Like The Show Is For Them.

Sometimes Sex Is Just A Way To Escape Having To Talk To That Person.