When I'm Doing An Appearance Somewhere And

A Conversation Does Not Have To Be Scintillating In Order To Be Memorable. I Once Met A President Of The United States, And His Second Sentence To Me Was About Knees.

I'll Be Happy If I Can Just Stay Out Of Nebraska.

There Are Online Forms You Can Fill Out To Send To Your Lawmakers, Demanding That Nothing - Nothing At All Or In Any Way - Be Done About Any Guns Whatever, Anywhere.

Just Think Of All The Billions Of Coincidences That Don't Happen.

Years Have Passed Since I Have Set Foot In A Comedy Club. If The Comic Is Doing Badly It's Painful, And If The Comic Is Doing Brilliantly, It's Extremely Painful.