I Don't Ever Want To Have Kids

I'm Interested In Doing Some Acting In The Future, But It's A Distant Second To Stand Up.

You Look Like You Deep Fry Your Hands Before You Bite Your Fingernails.

My Perfect Night Would Be Going Out To An Awesome Restaurant, Then Heading Over To The Comedy Cellar To Hang Out With Other Comics, Drinking Beers And Making Fun Of Each Other.

My Dad Was A Complicated Man. He Was A Huge Racist, My Dad, But He Still Tried To Be A Good Father, You Know? Like, He Would Tell Me That Santa Claus Was Black - That Way, When I Found Out He Didn't Exist, It Wouldn't Be That Big A Let Down.

Yeah We're Not Together Anymore. She Has Got - She Has Got A New Boyfriend Now. They Just Moved Into Together. And I've Heard Rumors That He Is Abusive, Which Makes You Want To Go Over There With A Baseball Bat. And Then Blame It On Her Boyfriend.