When I Was A Kid Ellen Degeneres

I've Belched A Lot More Since I Had Gall Bladder Surgery. I Don't Know Why.

My Dad Liked To Boil A Squirrel Head And Suck The Brains Out The Nose. Smaller Than A Chicken, Bigger Than A Rat.

I Was Overcome By The Holy Ghost One Time, But In A Baptist Way. I Was Six Or Seven, And I Was Saved. I Just Cried And Cried. It Was Joy!

I Believe I Owe All The Best Parts Of My Adulthood To Embracing My Imperfections And Showcasing Them.

High School Wasn't So Bad Though Because, By Then, I Had Worked Out That There Were Far More Nerdy Kids And Poor Kids Than There Were Rich, Popular Kids, So, At The Very Least, We Had Them Outnumbered.