When I Wake Up In The Morning,

I've Always Suffered From A Complete Inability To Sense Who's Important.

Cell Phones Are Like A Dog's Nipples... You Don't Have To Shout Into Them!

The Subconscious Is Like Having A Laboratory Assistant Who Pretends To Love You And Help You, But After You Go Home To Go To Sleep It Goes Back Into The Lab And Starts Fumbling With The Data And Destroying It. It's A Very Tricky Thing. People Think Our Minds Are Us, But That's Not True At All. The Mind Is Not Us.

The Only Work I Ever Turned Down Was A Cable Programme Called Diving For Excrement.

I Was Walking Down Fifth Avenue Today And I Found A Wallet, And I Was Gonna Keep It, Rather Than Return It, But I Thought: Well, If I Lost A Hundred And Fifty Dollars, How Would I Feel? And I Realized I Would Want To Be Taught A Lesson.