Cell Phones Are Like A Dog's Nipples...

Every Time I See Dan Quayle I Feel Like Buying A Vowel.

I Was Sleeping The Other Night, Alone, Thanks To The Exterminator.

Writer's Block Is A Myth. I Never See The Gardeners Suffering From Gardening Block.

My Girlfriend Told Me That She Was Seeing Another Man. I Told Her To Rub Her Eyes.

I'm Very Religious, You Know. Now, Ok, If By 'religious', You Mean That I Go To Church Every Sunday, Read The Bible Faithfully, And I Listen To Debbie Boone, Umm, I'm Not Religious In That Sense... But If By 'religious' You Mean That I Love Others And Try To Help Them Whenever Possible... Again, No. But If By 'religious' You Mean That I Like To Eat Coleslaw... Yeah, Ok, Ok!