I've Always Suffered From A Complete Inability

Whatever Happened To The Good Ole Days, When Children Worked In Factories?

Ambiguity Is The Devil's Volleyball.

I Never Cheated On My Wife. I Took Seriously Those Vows Of Celibacy.

When I Went To College, My Parents Threw A Going Away Party For Me, According To The Letter.

When I Was A Kid My Parents Used To Tell Me, "emo, Don't Go Near The Cellar Door!" One Day When They Were Away, I Went Up To The Cellar Door. And I Pushed It And Walked Through And Saw Strange, Wonderful Things, Things I Had Never Seen Before, Like... Trees. Grass. Flowers. The Sun... That Was Nice... The Sun.