I've Always Suffered From A Complete Inability

I Was Walking Down Fifth Avenue Today And I Found A Wallet, And I Was Gonna Keep It, Rather Than Return It, But I Thought: Well, If I Lost A Hundred And Fifty Dollars, How Would I Feel? And I Realized I Would Want To Be Taught A Lesson.

When I Was A Kid, I Slept On Rubber Sheets, But Now, I'm A Man. And I Can Take The Wetness!

I Thought I Was Raptured Up Into The Air Today; Turns Out, It Was Just My Gas Oven Exploding.

Writing Jokes For Others Is Like Having Babies For Someone Else. It's Sad. Like The Woman Who Gives Up Her Baby But Needs To Be Close So She Secretly Becomes The Maid In The Household.

Actually, My Cd Was Released In 1985, In Return For Two German Missionaries And A Dutch Urologist.