I've Always Suffered From A Complete Inability

Some Comedians Change Their Style, Often To Their Advantage; But I See No Reason Why I Can't Continue With The "urbane Sophisticate" 'til The Day I Die.

My Grandmother's Brain Was Dead, But Her Heart Was Still Beating. It Was The First Time We Ever Had A Democrat In The Family.

The Nicest Present I Ever Got Was An Exploding Suppository.

You Should Get Married. When I Was Younger, I Was Into The Fame And Fortune, And Now I Realize That A Loving Wife And Happy Children - That's Life's Greatest Consolation Prize.

At My Lemonade Stand I Used To Give The First Glass Away Free And Charge Five Dollars For The Second Glass. The Refill Contained The Antidote.