When I Ask You What Club To

Nobody Asked How You Looked, Just What You Shot.

Over The Years I've Studied The Habits Of Golfers. I Know What To Look For. Watch Their Eyes. Fear Shows Up When There Is An Enlargement Of The Pupils. Big Pupils Lead To Big Scores.

These Greens Are So Fast I Have To Hold My Putter Over The Ball And Hit It With The Shadow.

I've Said A Thousand Times, You Can't Go Into A Shop And Buy A Good Golf Game.

The Only Place That's Holier Than St. Andrews Is Westminster Abbey.