When I Am Given A Multiple Choice

I Have A Jar At Home, And I Put Pennies In It Whenever I Curse. The Other Day I Spilled The Jar. I Owe It About $25.

I Like Parties, But I Don't Like Piñatas Because The Pinata Promotes Violence Against Flamboyant Animals. Hey, There's A Donkey With Some Pizzazz. Let's Kick Its Ass.

I Was Student Council President In High School, And Even In Law School, I Was Vice-president Of The Student Bar Association.

'sort Of' Is Such A Harmless Thing To Say... Sort Of. It's Just A Filler. Sort Of... It Doesn't Really Mean Anything. But After Certain Things, Sort Of Means Everything. Like... After "i Love You"... Or "you're Going To Live."

When I First Heard The Term 'training Bra,' I Was Freaked Out. I Was Pretty Young And I Said, 'did You Just Say Training Bra? They're Training Their Chests? I Had No Idea.' See Some Lady, Her Boobs Are Everywhere. 'what's Her Deal?' Those Are Untrained Titties.