When Four Or More Men Get Together,

Men Own Basketball Teams. Every Year Cheerleaders' Outfits Get Tighter And Briefer, And Players' Shorts Get Baggier And Longer.

My Vegas Act Is How I Make My Money.

At The End Of Every Year, I Add Up The Time That I Have Spent On The Phone On Hold And Subtract It From My Age. I Don't Count That Time As Really Living. I Spend More And More Time On Hold Each Year. By The Time I Die, I'm Going To Be Quite Young.

Envy The Kangaroo. That Pouch Setup Is Extraordinary; The Baby Crawls Out Of The Womb When It Is About Two Inches Long, Gets Into The Pouch, And Proceeds To Mature. I'd Have A Baby If It Would Develop In My Handbag.

Waiters And Waitresses Are Becoming Nicer And Much More Caring. I Used To Pay My Check, They Would Say "thank You." That's Now Escalated Into "you Care Care Of Yourself, Now." The Other Day I Paid My Check And The Waiter Said, "don't Put Off That Mammogram."