When Every High School Graduate Can Spell

President Obama Could Keep A Big Map With Push Pins On It To Keep Track Of How Many Countries Hate Us, And When We Get Down To Only Half, Let's Have A Ball. I'll Blow Up The Balloons Myself.

I Love Talking To The Audience, And I Must Be The Luckiest Performer In The World. I Always Land Something Or Somebody That Just Takes Off.

The Pleasure Of The Mulch Pile Is Incomprehensible. I Wouldn't Care If They Just Hauled The Mulch To The Landfill Somewhere. Obviously, Grass Clippings Are Biodegradable, But When They're Bunched Together At The Landfill, They Become Badly Influenced By Other Garbage.

I Did Auditions At A Club Called The Comedy Connection. They Wanted Nothing To Do With Me. But One Night They Were Doing A Night Of All Women Comics, And They Invited Me To Do That.

There Are Really Only So Many Foods And So Many Ways You Can Prepare Them.