When Asked Whether He Minded If Someone

I Find Brass Bands Have A Melancholy Sound. All Right Out Of Doors, Of Course - Fifty Miles Away. Like Bagpipes, They Turn What Had Been A Dream Into A Public Nuisance.

No Woman Is Worth The Loss Of A Night's Sleep.

If She Is Attractive, I Can't Perform With Her; If She Is Not, Then I Won't.

The Sound Of The Harpsichord Resembles That Of A Bird-cage Played With Toasting-forks.

As You'll Never Hear The Thing Again, My Boy, Why Not Throw In A Couple Of Brass Bands?