What Do They Call That Hat Jewish

The Best Way To Break Up With A Girl Is Like I'm Taking Off A Band-aid. Slowly And In The Shower.

Im Not The Voice Of Reason; Im More The Guy Using These Offensive Topics As Fodder To Raise Tension In A Joke.

I'm Interested In Doing Some Acting In The Future, But It's A Distant Second To Stand Up.

I Love Austin, But Last Time I Was In Town For Twelve Hours. I Was Exhausted, Drunk And Miserable. But None Of That Was Austin's Fault.

I Prefer To Sleep With Deaf Girls. Those Crazy Chicks Never Have A Safe Word.