We're Mexi-cans Not Mexi-can'ts.

If The Worst Thing That Can Happen Is That Nobody Laughs, Then I Can Deal With That, Because The Worst Thing That Can Happen At The Factory Is That I Could Lose A Limb Or Be Crushed By A Huge Machine.

I'm A Big Fan Of Reality Shows. I Thought The First One, Dukes Of Hazzard, Captured White People Perfectly.

By The Time I Was 11, I Wanted To Be A Comedian. So All Those Years Later, I've Managed To Achieve My Dream As A Kid, And It Wasn't Easy. I'm On The [hollywood] Walk Of Fame And I'm One Of The 25 Most Influential Hispanics In America, According To Time Magazine. I Think My Duty Is To Go Back And Tell Kids, 'whatever Color You Are, Wherever You Come From, Anything And Everything Is Possible.' And I'm Living Proof.

If You Had A Personal Trainer, You Would Probably Eat Him. I Know That In Every Fat Person, There's A Skinny Person Inside, But You Could Have All The Season's Contestants Of America's Next Top Model In You. I Hope I Get Reincarnated As Your Feet. That Way, You'd Never See My Face Again... Oh, I'm Sorry. I Shouldn't Have Insulted You. Because In My Country, Cows Are Sacred.

We Need To Get Better At Voting And Be A Voice For The People Who Do Not Have One.