...went To A Bar For A Few

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, She Had A Face Like A Saint-a Saint Bernard!

I Bought A Perfect Second Car... A Tow Truck.

After I Got Divorced, I Said To Myself, I Will Never, Ever Get Married Again. It Was In Cement. I Went Through A Really Rough Twenty-five Years, But It Happened Again. I Fell In Love. I Told Her, Baby, I Don't Want A Prenuptial Agreement. This Is It. Everyone Told Me I Was Nuts. Well, My New Wife And I Are Married Six Years And We Get Along Great. You Can Make Anything Work If You're Both Givers.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. My Mother Breast Fed Me Through A Straw.

He Who Laughs Last Didn't Get It In The First Place.