Welfare Is Monetary Methadone.

In My Early 20s I Was So Miserable Doing Construction, I Wanted Something That Paid Money. I Liked Nice Stuff. I Liked Cars And Architecture, And Things That Cost Money. I Wanted To Not Swing A Hammer, And Make Money… And Not Do Stuff That Was Dirty. I Attempted To Get Into Comedy. I Started To Do Stand-up, But I Wasn’t Very Good At It.

Figure Out What To Do, Then Take A Nap.

As I Said In My Last Book, Birds Are Mean. They're The Only Pet That, When They Escape, The Owners Are Relieved. You Can Tell A Species Is Evil By Doing This Simple Math. If My Blond Lab Molly Was The Size Of T-rex, That Would Just Mean More Kibble, More Work For The Gardener In The Backyard, And A Harder Time Moving Her To My Wife's Side Of The Bed At Night. If Birds Were The Size Of A T-rex, The Streets Would Be Littered With Human Remains.

To Make Something, You Have To Work Within Your Abilities. Honestly Assess What You Can Do And Even More Important, What Can't You Do.

If You Spend Your Life Walking Through Somebody Else's Museum, You Never Find Out Whether You're Rembrandt Or Not.