We Tend To Outdo Ourselves.

Bacon's The Best, Even The Frying Of Bacon Sounds Like An Applause.

That's My Private Business. Besides, The Perception Is That People That Believe In God Are Stupid.

People Need To Write Articles And They Need To Have Angles In Them And I'm Grateful When People Are Doing Articles, But I Always Say There's Not A Great Mystery To Stand-up Comedy.

A Lot Of The Teachings Really Kind Of Keep Me Grounded.

How Did We Get To The Point Where We're Paying For Bottled Water? That Must Have Been Some Weird Marketing Meeting Over In France. Some French Guy's Sitting There, Like, "how Dumb Do I Think The Americans Are? I Bet You We Could Sell Those Idiots Water."