You Know, I Want To Teach, But

What Was The Idea Behind Hot Pockets? Was There A Marketing Meeting Somewhere, 'hey I Got An Idea: How About We Take A Pop-tart And Fill It With Really Nasty Meat? You Could Cook It In A Sleeve Thing, And You Could Dunk It In The Toilet.'

I'd Been Acting And Doing Stand-up In New York About Eight Years, Getting Rejected, And I Finally Got The Opportunity To Do Stand-up On Letterman, Which Holds Even More Importance For Me. With Comedians, That's Definitely The Pinnacle, But Being From Indiana, It Was A Big To-do.

We Tend To Outdo Ourselves.

Boutique Hotels Are Great, But They Get Too Cute. Some Hotels Have Shoe Polish. It's Like, Come On, This Isn't 1960. No One's Polishing Their Shoes.

I'm Getting Fat ... As I Planned. Luckily, My Gut Is Intentional. I'm Actually Preparing For A Big Role. Sure, It's A Cinnamon Roll.