I Realize I Look Very Hip Hop

It Doesn't Matter If You're Religious Or Not. Does Anything Make You Feel More Uncomfortable Than Some Stranger Going, I'd Like To Talk To You About Jesus?

I Always Want My Standup Act To Appeal To Everybody In The Room, And When I Started Standup, And I Would See People Talk About Their Kids And Their Wife, And I'd Always Cringe A Little Bit, Like, 'i Can't Get A Date, I Don't Know What You're Talking About.'

I Can't Believe We Got Grades In Gym Class. I've Never Used Anything I Learned In There. "all Right, I'm Standing In Front Of A Room Full Of Strangers. Based On What I Learned In Gym Class, I Will Throw A Red Ball At A Fat Guy."

I've Been Outed As A Christian.

You Don't Use Mayonnaise, Why? ... Are You Addicted To Mayonnaise? Is It Okay If I Use Mayonnaise? I Could Go Outside.