I Realize I Look Very Hip Hop

If Camping Is So Great, Why Are The Bugs Always Trying To Get In Your House?

My Wife Always Asks Me Why I Don't Make The Bed. And I Respond With The Same Reason Why I Don't Tie My Shoes After I Take Them Off.

I Am Somebody Who - My Path To My Faith Is Very Kind Of Individual, And I Don't Want To Be Lumped Into The Category Of Those Westboro Baptists.

I've Stayed In So Many Hotel Rooms That I'm Shocked If, When I Stay In A Hotel Room, The Hotel Phone Isn't On The Desk. Then I'm Like, "this Isn't A Real Hotel Room." If There's Not Outlets Next To The Desk, Or If They Have An Iphone Adapter For An Iphone 4, That's When I'm Sitting There Annoyed. I Understand That It's Ridiculous, But That's Just Me Spending Way Too Much Time In Hotels.

Stand-up Used To Be Much More Of A Form Combat. Heckling Was Much More Common [in The '90s]. And I Couldn't Get Stage Time, And So I Would Go Out To Pip's In Sheepshead Bay.