We Don't Live In A Democracy; We

I'd Rather Have A Girl Exposed To Me Than 25 Women In Prom Dresses Vying For A Stranger.

I Think Maybe I Became Funny Because As A Kid, I Was A Jew In A Town Of No Jews, And Being Funny Just Instinctively Came About As A Way To Put People At Ease Around Me.

I Think The Difference Between Being Miserable And Finding Happiness Is Just A Matter Of Perspective. If You Live Your Life Defining Yourself By What Other People Think Of You, It's A Form Of Self-torture.

I Have No Religion, But I Can't Escape Being Extremely Jewish Ethnically - That Is, Culturally. In Other Words, I'm Not Religious, But I Worry And I'm Neurotic. And I'm Very Good With Money.

If I Have Kids, I'll Adopt.