Usually You Regret The Things You Say

You Know The Trouble With Real Life? There's No Danger Music.

Comedy Started Out As My Hobby And Then It Became My Profession. It's Like Being On Call All The Time, Like Having A Built-in Beeper. You Can't Just Leave The Office And Relax Because You Never Know When You'll Think Of Something Funny.

Don't Worry If You Miss Your Cue, Because There's Always Doors Opening. They Keep Opening.

Free Cable Is The Ultimate Aphrodisiac.

I Don't Remember Yesterday. I Pretty Much Live In The Moment.