Ooh Good I've Got Syphilis, The Best

We Live In The Worst Country In The World. At Least We Do For Lazy, Inefficient, Office-bound Police, Whose Response To An Extraordinary Rise In Violent Crime Is To Order More Speed Cameras.

Governments Would Rather Spend Their Money On Another Bomber Than Education, And Why Do We Fear Black Men When Every Bit Of Suffering In Our Lives Has A Caucasian Face Attached To It?

Multi-tasking Is The Ability To Screw Everything Up Simultaneously.

I Rang Up Jay Kay, Who's Got One, And Said: 'can We Borrow Yours?' And He Said, 'yeah, If I Can Borrow Your Daughter, Because It Amounts To The Same Thing.'

Italy's Youngsters Complain, Apparently, About Having To Live At Home Until They Are 72 But That's Because They Spend All Their Money On Suits And Coffee And Alfa Romeos Rather Than Mortgages.