Two Irishmen Were Passing A Pub -

This Is Frank Carson, News At Ten, Sober.

A Man Says To The Doctor: "what's The Good News?" "you've Got 24 Hours To Live." He Says: "what's The Bad News?" The Doctor Says: "we Should Have Told You Yesterday."

I Gave My Wife A Kiss This Morning. She Jumped Out Of Bed And Did A Lap Of Honour.

I'm Staying In A Lovely Hotel, Dressing Robe Behind The Door, Lovely Fluffy Sheets - Took Me A Half An Hour Getting My Suitcase Closed.

Someone Threw A Petrol Bomb At Alex Higgins Once And He Drank It!