Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving.

He Was In Awe Of The Thirst That People Had For Someone To Tell Them That Everything Was Going To Be All Right. He Marveled At The Gullibility And Vulnerability Of His Fellow Humans. No Wonder The Churches Called Them Sheep. They Were Woolly-headed Pack Animals Being Herded Around For The Benefit Of Whoever Knew How To Control The Dogs.

All They Teach You In Drama School Is How To Do Stage Fights And Be A Pain In Rehearsals.

Late Night Is No Different Than Making A Film, Really, Except That It's Faster, And If You Do A Crap One, You Can Do A Better One Tomorrow. Writing A Novel And Doing Stand-up - That Stuff Is Very Similar.

New Ipod. It Looks Like An Iphone But It Can't Make Phone Calls. So Its Really Just An Iphone.

You Know, Where I Come From, An Antique, To Be Called An Antique, It Has To Be At Least A Hundred Years Old. That's A Law: Before You Can Call Something An Antique, It Has To Be A Hundred Years Old. In L.a., Something That's Been Around For A Couple Of Weeks Is An Antique. It's True! People Are Like, Look At This Old-fashioned Ipod. Look At This! It's The Size Of A Man's Hand! Ha Ha Ha Ha. Back Then-back Then, People Thought Mel Gibson Was Just Acting Crazy. It Was A Very Different Time.