Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving.

I Always Wanted To Make Motion Pictures, Ever Since I Was A Wee Boy, And I Was 32, And Time Was Marching On. I Met A Guy Who Said, 'come Out To Hollywood For 10 Days, And I'll Get You A Deal.' So I Figured, 'ok, 10 Days.' On The 10th Day, He Got Me A Development Deal With Disney, Not For A Lot Of Money, But It Allowed Me To Make The Move.

Saudia Arabia Takes In Half A Trillion Dollars Every Year In Oil Revenue, And The Country Has A Population Smaller Than New York State, But When Your System Of Government Is An Eleventh Century Monarchy, Someone's Going To End Up Poor, And It's Not Gonna Be The Guy Whose First Name Is King.

People Talk To Old People Like They're Children.'oh You're Very Old Aren't You?' Yeah I'm Old. I'm Not Stupid.

Donald Trump Showed His Birth Certificate To Reporters. Who Cares About His Birth Certificate? I Want To Know If That Thing On His Head Has Had Its Vaccinations.

It's A Great Day For America, Everybody! It's Monday, Woo.