Other Than The Laws Of Physics, Rules

Now, I Know Obama Was Trying To Take The Long View, But Talking About Solar Energy In The Middle Of The Oil Spill Is Like Watching Your House Engulfed In Flames And Saying, 'we Really Should Change The Curtains.'

If You Don't Vote, You're A Moron.

I Don't Know Now If I'm Funny. I Just Keep Talking And Hope That I Hit Something That's Funny.

Ratings Experts Say The Best Way To Get People To Watch During Sweeps Is To Leave The Audience With A Question That Won't Be Answered Until The Next Time The Show Is On. You Know, Like Who Shot J.r.? I Like To Think I Do This Every Night - The Question Is, Is This Show Still On?

There Is A New Survey Out About The Happiest Professions. I Think The Whole Premise Is Flawed. You're Supposed To Find True Happiness Outside Of Work. From Friends, Family, And Youtube Videos Of Old People Falling Down.