Totie Fields Is One Of My Benchmarks

I'm Just An Obnoxious Guy Who Can Make It Appear Charming, That's What They Pay Me To Do.

I Smell Varmint Poontang. And The Only Good Varmint Poontang Is Dead Varmint Poontang, I Think.

I Have A Brother Who Gives Socks For Christmas. He Gives Socks. Every Year, I Get A Pair Of Socks From Him.

Chicks Dig Me Because I Rarely Wear Underwear, And When I Do, It's Usually Something Unusual.

Different Vodkas Have Different Effects. Some Make You Feel A Little... Poly-lingual. Some Make You Feel Like You Want To Talk Back To Someone Who's Giving You A Hard Time. Some Make You Feel Like Lifting Kettle Bells.