Tomorrow's Just Your Future Yesterday.

That's Why I Believe In A Constitution Which Separates Church From State. I've Seen What Happens When They Get In Cahoots.

Sometimes People Think You’re Smart If You Question The Status Quo, If Nothing Else.

I Know That's Not The Right Accent, But I Can't Do The Right Accent. It's Either The Wrong Accent Or Another Octomom Joke.

Today Monopoly Added A New Game Piece: The Cat. The New Piece Was Chosen After Weeks Of Online Voting. Is That A Surprise? Whenever There's A Vote For Something On The Internet, The Cat Always Wins.

I Haven't Had A Drink In Thirteen Years, But Occasionally I'm Tempted To Have One Beer. The Problem Is That If I Have That One Beer, I Wake Up In Tijuana Four Days Later With A Tattoo And A Sore Ass.