I'm Careful With Money.

The World Can Be Such A Fright, But It Belongs To Us Tonight.

You Know Who They're Blaming For Global Warming Now? This Is True. Fat People.

Cannabis Always Made Me Paranoid; I Felt Like People Were Watching Me. And Now I'm Sober, And I've Got This Talk Show In The Middle Of The Night On Cbs, And I Now Know That No One Is Watching Me.

Welcome Back, My Cheeky Wee Monkeys.

It Is A Great Day For The Great State Of Texas. The Last Person Being Tested For Ebola Has Come Back Clean. So Texas Is Now Ebola Free. This Was A Big Week For Them. They're Now Free Of Ebola - And Democrats.