To Me, The Stand Up Part In

Room Service Is Great If You Want To Pay $500 For A Club Sandwich.

I Never Could Tell A Joke. I Just Started Talking To The Audience, And When The Drunks Would Yell, "hey, When Do The Broads Come On?" I Got Good At Saying, "relax. Clear Your Skin Up First." They Called Me "the Insult Guy," But It's Never Mean-spirited. I'm Just Exaggerating Everything About Us And About Life.

You've Got To Be Able To Sell Yourself.

I'm Not A Big One For Jokes. I Can't Tell A Joke, Believe It Or Not. If You Gave Me A Thousand Bucks And Said, "don, Get Up At A Party And Tell A Joke," I'm The Worst.

Everything I Do On Stage, I Made Up In Saloons. I Started Doing It In Front Of People, And That Became My Performance. I Never Had Writers.