To Me, If Life Boils Down To

We Want To Do A Lot Of Stuff; We're Not In Great Shape, We Didn't Get A Good Night's Sleep, We're A Little Depressed. Coffee Solves All These Problems In One Delightful Little Cup.

I Don't Return Fruit. Fruit's A Gamble. I Know That Going In.

There's No Downside To Fame And People Who Whine About It Make Me Sick. It's The Greatest Thing In The World.

I Have No Plants In My House. They Won't Live For Me. Some Of Them Don't Even Wait To Die, They Commit Suicide.

What's With This Weird Hotel Custom Of Leaving A Piece Of Chocolate On The Pillow? I Awoke Thinking My Brain Had Hemorrhaged Some Sort Of Fecal Matter.