This Bugs Me The Worst. That's When

Finding A Calm Place Inside Myself Through Meditation Kind Of Helped Me To Get Over A Lot Of Mental Illness ... It's Just Been A Really Great Thing In My Life.

Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Show Business.

I Like Facts And Data Because They Help Me Think Clearly, Beyond The Cultural Messages That I Ingest Unwittingly, And Sometimes Find Myself Regurgitating Almost Unconsciously.

I Say I'm The Only Serious Comedian In The Presidential Race. And I'd Like To Take This Opportunity To Ask Both Romney And Obama To Debate Me. Because I Think That Both Of Those Guys - I Think That The American People Are Being Given A False Choice, Because The Choice Between The Lesser Of Two Evils Is A False Choice.

You May Marry The Man Of Your Dreams, Ladies, But Fourteen Years Later You're Married To A Couch That Burps.