Thing To Try: If You Are Asked

I Like To Go To Concerts Because I Love To See My Favorite Band Through The Phone Of The Asshole Who's Standing In Front Of Me.

But What I Was Going To Say Was, I Just Figured I'm Going To Go Boldly In The Direction Of My Dreams, Say It As Thoreau Would Say, And Just See Where It Takes Me.

Vampires Probably Don't Have Great Breath.

If Someone Throws A Pie At Your Face, Just Open Your Mouth Really Wide And Say, 'thanks For Feeding Me, A**hole.'

I Was Stuck In Traffic And I Looked In The Mirror And In The Car Behind Me There Was A Couple Having A Horrible Argument And Right Below Their Image It Said "objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear". I Just Thought, Man I Hope So Because She Was Pretty Mad.