There's Something Kind Of Beautiful About That

We Need Conservatives That Can Accept Gays, And Then We Need Hippies That Can Shave And Bathe.

I Don't Want To Get Into Extended Conversations With People On Myspace, Because There Are Friends I Have Extended Conversations With Every Day.

Myspace Is Somehow More Welcoming Than Facebook. And Twittering, I Just... Ugh. I Like Having Radio Silence. I Think Radio Silence Is An Important Part Of Any Public Figure's Day. We Haven't Seen It Yet, But There's Going To Be A Generation That Comes Up Where The New Trend Will Be Complete Anonymity. It'll Be Cool To Have Never Posted Anything Online, Commented, Opened A Webpage Or A Myspace. I Think Everyone In The Future Is Going To Be Allowed To Be Obscure For 15 Minutes. You'll Have 15 Minutes Where No One Is Watching You, And Then You'll Be Shoved Back Onto Your Reality Show.

This Sounds Like A Brag, But I Know How To Make Good Fried Rice. I Learned In College. There Are Two Secrets - Take The Rice After You Cook It And Let It Get Cold In The Fridge. Then Cook The Egg Like You're Making A Fried Egg And Just Before It's Done, Dump The Rice And Veg On It And Swirl It Around.

I'm Glad That That Era Of Stand-up Is Over, Because I Think It Adversely Affected A Lot Of People Who Could Have Been Really, Really Great Comedians. Because They Unconsciously Or Subconsciously Stifled Their Wild Impulses, And Were Thinking About The Five Clean Minutes For The Tonight Show, Or The 20-minute Sitcom Pitch As A Stand-up Act.