There's Always An Adjective Before My Name,

I Caused My Husband's Heart Attack. In The Middle Of Lovemaking I Took The Paper Bag Off My Head. He Dropped The Polaroid And Keeled Over And So Did The Hooker. It Would Have Taken Me Half An Hour To Untie Myself And Call The Paramedics, But Fortunately The Great Dane Could Dial.

Our Natures Are A Lot Like Oil, Mix Us With Anything Else, And We Strive To Swim On Top.

My Obstetrician Was So Dumb That When I Gave Birth He Forgot To Cut The Cord. For A Year That Kid Followed Me Everywhere. It Was Like Having A Dog On A Leash.

My Body Is A Temple, And My Temple Needs Redecorating.

Can We Talk?