There's Always An Adjective Before My Name,

I Wish I Had A Twin, So I Could Know What I'd Look Like Without Plastic Surgery.

I Think Hillary Clinton's Style Is Perfect. Perfect. You Don't Notice What She's Wearing, You Notice The Woman.

My Daughter Refuses To Call Me Mother In Public; My Little Grandson Calls Me Spongeslob Squarebottom, And Nobody Else Ever Calls Me At All.

If You Can't Make Fun Of Yourself, You Don't Have Any Right To Make Fun Of Others

In Life The Only Thing That You Can Expect Is The Unexpected; The Only Surprise Is A Day That Has None.