There's A Lot Of Money In Wars,

Freedom Of Speech Is A Two Way Street, Man. You Have The Right To Say Whatever You Want And The Boss Has A Right To Tell The Police To Arrest You.

Never Tell. Not If You Love Your Wife...in Fact, If Your Old Lady Walks In On You Deny It. Yeah. Just Flat Out And She'll Believe It: "i'm Tellin' Ya. This Chick Came Downstairs With A Sign Around Her Neck 'lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I Didn't Know What I Was Goin' To Do.

If You Live In New York, Even If You're Catholic, You're Jewish

My Mother-in-law Broke Up My Marriage. My Wife Came Home From Work One Day And Found Me In Bed With Her.

Darwin's Theory Is As Dead As He Is. Everyone Is Surviving, Fit Or Not. Years Ago, Any Kid Dumb Enough To Chase A Shiny Object Down A Well Was Dead, And Out Of The Gene Pool. Now They Got The Technology And Medicine To Save The Fool So He Can Breed More Open Mouth Breathers.