There's A Lot Of Cynicism. Let's Really

There Are A Lot Of Questions I Keep Asking Myself About Why I Do Comedy. I Guess I Laugh To Keep From Crying. And I Guess If You Ever Get Me Crying, I Might Not Stop. This Is The Way I Look At Tragedy Or Else I'll Cry.

When You're Going For A Joke, You're Stuck Out There If It Doesn't Work. There's Nowhere To Go. You've Done The Drum Role And The Cymbal Clash And You're Out On The End Of The Plank.

Don't Ever Have Two Dogs. That Way You Won't Know Which One To Blame.

Stammering Is Different Than Stuttering. Stutterers Have Trouble With The Letters, While Stammerers Trip Over Entire Parts Of A Sentence. We Stammerers Generally Think Of Ourselves As Very Bright. My Own Private Theory Is That Stammerers Have So Many Ideas Swirling Around Their Brains At Once That They Can't Get Them All Out, Though I Haven't Found Any Scientific Evidence To Back That Up.

More And More, As I Get Older, People Come Up To Me And Say, 'thank You For All The Laughter.' And My Standard Answer Is, 'it Was My Pleasure.' But That's The Truth.